Five ways to make bedtime better

Bedtime comes up in a ridiculous percentage of my blog posts, Facebook status posts, and web searches from a couple of years ago.  Sleep is such a big issue with little ones, and there are so many opinions and theories and so much advice.  I am not going to get into that part of it.  I'm thinking about the stretch of time between dinner and sleep, however and wherever it happens.  I had planned a while back to make an ebook out of all this advice, and sell it to you.  That's more work than I have time for, and frankly, I'd rather share this with you here and now.  So, imagine we are having a cup of tea or coffee or hot buttered rum, and I'm telling you what is working, and has worked for us.

Your milage, as they say, may vary.

1. Routine, routine, routine. Remember that little ones (under sevens, up to age nine for some kids) count time by events much more than by the clock.  Your routine should be like a short row of beads on a string; one follows the other, ever and ever again.  The actual time you spend on each activity can wax and wane as need dictates. Our routine is kind of long and involved, but it works for our kiddo who needs a long time to wind down from his day.
2. Twilight time.  I can't remember where I got this one, but it is GOLD.  Crazy day?  Bedtime feel like it will never come? Everyone on edge?  Twilight time to the rescue.  Turn off the bright lights.  Light some candles.  Play soft, acoustic music, or let the silence settle around you.  Make some warm milk with honey or some gentle tea, and snuggle in with a story. Twilight time can start before dinner when needed.  It's as nourishing for the grownups in the house as for the kiddos.
3. Candle Time.  Not to be confused with Twilight Time, Candle Time is the last part of the routine. Near your child's bed, light a candle.  Beeswax is nice.  After the last story, turn off the light and let the candle burn while you are in the room, or until your child wants to blow it out. Soft.
4. Verses.  These can be prayers or affirmations, poems or nursery rhymes, anything you can say with or for your child, from memory.  We have had the same four for a long, long time.  Two short prayers, and two nursery rhymes that involve gently touching my son's face ("Brow Brow Brinkie" and "The Moon is Round") happen every night that I put him to bed.  My partner doesn't do these; it's not her thing.  That's fine; it's actually really nice for each grownup to have their own way of doing bedtime. 
5. Earlier.  When we can manage to get our son into bed by 7:15, and asleep by 7:45, life seems to expand.  He needs the rest, and we need the time to be grownups without little ears and voices and needs.  An early bedtime doesn't always happen here, but when it does, it's sweet.  Remember that kids need a lot of sleep, and that some studies show that many of the behavioral and emotional issues that kids have during the school day are much improved by increasing sleep time.

So, there you go.  Five things to try, to make bedtime smoother.  "What about bedtime stories?!" you cry.  "What can I read to little Cerulean?  What story should I tell little Candelabra?"  That's coming soon, folks...

Night night. 

Bedtime. December, 2011.